Sometimes

Sometimes I watch you to see if you are watching me

And sometimes I play a little game

where I see how many times you

lean into my shoulder or brush my arm

Sometimes I “what if” myself in to believing

there’s a better life

to the point I almost taste it

Sometimes I can almost trick myself

in to believing that I don’t crave

your attention

even though I know I shouldn’t  

because it’s forbidden

Sometimes I remind myself that fantasy

is only that and dreams

are made to disappear

Sometimes I can find peace and satisfaction

in reality and day to day life

Sometimes I find it a reasonable

cross to bear

sometimes I drown in the sorrow

of my own choices

Sometimes I find acceptance

In the life I’ve created.