Enough

Pounding footsteps through

empty halls

where dreams go to die

and illusions melt

in acid promises.

Where hatred filled tears

hide under golden smiles

and broken hearts hide

behind boisterous laughter.

Every haunted fear

affirmed and

agonized yearning

pulled and snapped

like a puppet’s strings

at the hands of a master–

skilled beyond understanding.

Insecurities breathe down

the neck of the beast

that eats at the belief

in value beyond temporary

and agony filled breath

chokes the voice that continues

to say quietly

“One day I will be enough”

Next to you

I can’t breathe

next to you

I can’t…

breathe.

I am alive

next to you

I remember

my dreams

But I can’t breathe

next to you

I can’t…

be.

I am aware

next to you

that I

crave it

Though I can’t breathe

next to you

I can’t…

wait.

To feel safe

next to you

I could stay

forever

But I can’t breathe

next to you

I can’t…

want.

to be close

next to you

I’m not

allowed

To not breathe

next to you

I can’t…

The Sea

With abandon I threw myself in

the depths of the sea 

and rejoiced in the comfort 

of the waves.

I floated and played in

the sand by the shore

and found peace in the warmth

of the days.

But the tides they turned 

in those years in the sun 

and the dark clouds began 

to roll in.

There was no longer joy in

the passage of time 

and the loneliness 

was to begin.